


Dom's Thoughts

by Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness



Category: Holby City
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 03:35:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15452499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness/pseuds/Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness
Summary: Just some thoughts I thought Dom might have had during the episode. Dom is reflecting on the day, as he lies next to his fiancé. Told from Dom's POV so first person.Once again, please read, hopefully enjoy and I will love you forever if you review.Xx





	Dom's Thoughts

Warning: As it is first person, and due to a minor issue I have with tenses I really hope I don't mess it up. I find first person quite difficult to write. I hope it reads smooth enough for you, and if people have any problems please let me know and I will edit what I can.  
Thanks for understanding,  
XX

I'm laying in bed after a long shift, a busy day in the arms of the man I love. Lofty is so snuggly at night. I think he controls himself a lot in the day, but at night there is just me and him, alone in our home and he relaxes. Our home. Well it might as well be, I mean he lives here more than he stays at his. That’s going to be the next step I think, but we’ll give it time. I think we are still working on things and still need some space. So today had been long, emotional and soul searching. I feel to wired to sleep. 

This morning I planned to ask Lofty to go on holiday with me. That was hard enough. I had no idea about the proposal until Mum told me. I love my Mum but she is awful at keeping secrets. When I found out I was dumbfounded, I mean had we really been dating long enough? Had we spent enough time together? Do we know each other well enough? I had no idea about this level of commitment, this promise to each other. As I went about my day, trying to focus on work, touching base and speaking to Essie. She told me I would know my answer. I went outside during my break to look at the display, the bunting, lemons and bikes. He had put so much effort into making the day perfect, well as perfect as Lofty could make it. He had done it all for me. I felt more than heard him behind me and the comment about maybe w could look back and laugh at this. He was obviously embarrassed at his enthusiasm. I had to leave, to get back to my patients and work, but it was with a heavy heart. I was scrubbing up for surgery, with Hansen and he spoke to me. He asked me what was wrong and I told him, well eventually. I didn’t expect much, after the last piece of advice he gave me, but then he made me pause for thought. When I told him about what Lofty had planned, he asked whether I wanted him to propose. I couldn’t answer, I didn’t know. Then he asked about marriage and I said I didn’t know, then he continued very much in the way he does when he is trying to explain something to me.  
“…sometimes I think the hardest things to say, are the things worth saying. Don’t you agree”  
“Yes” I answered I did. It was often that way I knew thinking back to my past relationships briefly   
Then he went on about surgery but it was his final words that got to me  
“…other things in life are more rare”

In that moment it clicked, a thought. It was rare. It was rare to find someone to love you unconditionally. What Lofty and I had was rare. Lofty was rare, unique like no one I had ever known before. What he was doing was rare? Would it be enough for me to give him an answer? I didn’t know but I knew I needed to find out. I excused myself from theatre with a passing thanks to Hansen. I headed to where I knew Lofty had set up the Tuscany scene, for me. As I watched him tidying away, his shoulder slumped, his expression sad but almost wistful. I sat near him and he stops to watch, before taking a seat below me, looking up at me. I don’t know were I begin, so I just begin to speak.

“You and I, we’re a strange one. We’ve had so much emotion and mess here, with work...I feel like we’ve never had that chance to be me and you. Is this what you expected?” I asked curiously  
“I’ve nothing to compare it to, you’re my first” Lofty said quietly glancing up at me  
“I know, and I know that’s a huge thing, it just makes everything so much more” I watched Lofty’s expressions carefully wondering if he was referring to being with a man or being engaged, as he would have been engaged before with the woman he left at the altar, but maybe they didn’t have a proposal.  
“I know love though, I know what’s that like” He looked at me with small smile and it makes me know what love is to, something I had never thought I deserved.  
“It’s not supposed to get easier…” I answered wanting him to understand what he was in for, and knowing myself I would find it hard. Lofty had so much love to give everyone. Lofty’s love was infinite.  
“Is it supposed to?” He asks me, and I have to smile at that slightly, for all the romance he is a realist. He obvious knows that we will need to keep working at it to keep it going, so it doesn’t fade, so it doesn’t burn out, but as I look at him, I don’t think that would be possible.  
“I don’t know, I never got this far” I confess quietly and it’s true, I never felt I deserved this, any of this. I’m still thinking as I watch Lofty collect the bunting. He still looks defeated and saddened. I disliked the fact that I was at least partially responsible for the expression, but it was like awake up call, the slightly hunched shoulders, the quiet sigh, the even quieter comment about lemons. It was like a strike of lightning, I never wanted to hurt Lofty or mock what he had done, hence why I told him he didn’t need to apologise. In that moment I knew what Essie meant, what Hanssen meant, and Mum meant. When would I ever find someone who would love me as much as Lofty did? When would I ever find someone who I loved as much as Lofty? The adorable, clumsy, inarticulate Lofty who had stolen my heart all those months ago. I wanted Lofty to be happy. I hoped I could make Lofty happy and Lofty could make me happy. Lofty always tried to make things perfect, he gave everything 100%. Kind, Sweet, gentle Lofty thought he was worth all this effort. I got off the bench and moved towards him  
“You’re so good to me” I said quietly making him pause in his bunting removal “I honestly thought I would never have any of this”  
“What are you saying?” Lofty asks me with a smile creeping onto his face. I know I need to work for it, to say it out loud. I was nervous but I know I am doing the right thing and that filled me with confidence  
“Lofty” I say with a smile getting down on one knee.  
“Dom” Lofty then says with a smile, getting down on one knee and revealing his Grandfathers ring  
I couldn't help but smile about how corny it is, but how utterly perfect it is. I can see Donna, Essie and Mum watching, but I don’t care. I am asking the man I love to marry me  
“Will you marry me” We both say it together laughing at the fun of it all, the cheesiness of the gesture  
“Yes” Lofty answers with a smile  
“Absolutely” I replied feeling happy, and he slips the ring on my finger, holding my hand as he does it

In that moment I felt complete, I felt happy. I felt amazed and in love and simply happy. No doubts, no worries. Just me and Lofty. I pulled him to an embrace and kissed him, I kept kissing him even when I heard Donna’s squeal. I didn't want to stop. I love this man. I am spending the rest of life with than man I love. As we get on the bikes and ride around the carpark, I can’t help but grin and it felt so amazing that we will be starting a new life together, not as Dr. Copeland and Nurse Chiltern, but as Lofty (I may be persuaded to call him Ben at some point) and Dom. Two men. In love. Ready to commit to the future. I feel sleep me drawing me in, the warmth cocooning me and the gentle tug of my fiance securing his position further. I glance down at him one more time before I fall asleep. I love you. I whisper into the night.


End file.
